On Getting A Job

When people ask me what I want to do post-Uni – a question people love to ask – I lift my shoulders in a shrug and say “something to do with books or films. Something culturally.”

Culturally as in cultural-y. Cultural would do, I know, but I get embarrassed.

Something to do with books or films. That’s what I want to do. Something.

“Something’s anything” my Mum says. She pulls jobs out of papers and shouts in a fit of excitement “here, you can get a job at the college” as she holds out a scrap of newspaper with advertisements for plumbing apprenticeships on. I explain that I can’t be a tutor at a college, I’d need extra training for that. I’m tired of explaining that I can’t be a tutor or a teacher or a lecturer. I tell her that I can’t do a course in plumbing either as I’m not very good with my hands.

Most of the people who ask me what I want to do aren’t graduates and see University as this mythical place where, once left, doors magically open and corporate types in expensive suits start kissing your feet. This hasn’t happened to me yet. Hopefully it doesn’t either.

I know that with next to nothing on my CV I won’t get a job straight away which is why I’ve applied for internships and sent polite emails off volunteering to help out at places of interest for free. Out of the emails I’ve sent less than half have been replied to. Of the internships I applied for all the places were taken.

Something to do with books or films.

That’s what I like. Books and films. I can’t get a job as a footballer or a baseball player or a musician, so that leaves the other two things I like. Or a job as a crisp tester. There’s a thought.

I did find one job though. The Guardian’s website had a role as a Writer in Residence. Wow, the perfect job, I thought. After a mouse click it turned out that it was Writer in Residence at four different prisons, all at a fair distance from one another. The prison bit scares me, but the travelling makes it impossible. Of course, I could move away to get a job but the travelling for this particular job is still a large amount.

I guess what I’m looking for is something to do with books or films in the West Midlands.

But it seems there isn’t a lot of that round here. Jobsites depict the Midlands, both and East and West, as a cultural wasteland, and yet I know it isn’t which is why I took it upon myself to fire off emails instead of using jobsites because most of them are useless or want me to work in marketing. Nothing against marketing, but nah.

A couple of weeks ago I found an article the Birmingham Post ran on my University. There was a quote about how excellent they [the University] are at finding jobs for students. While I’m sure they are in some cases in mine they palmed me off with an incorrect email and a few volunteering opportunities in third world countries.

As much as I’d love to volunteer in these countries I don’t have a passport yet. I need someone to fill the forms in. Will someone do that for me?

It seems that when faced with a graduate who doesn’t want to work for a giant corporation, who doesn’t want to sell products or policies people don’t need, who doesn’t want to sit in an office picking up phone calls from disgruntled customers then nobody knows quite what to do with them.

Maybe that’s what I’ve got to do.

But I want to do something to do with books or films.

I can do some freelancing for now if I can remember the name of a site I was pointed in the direction of. That’ll tide me over. I wouldn’t mind that. But I want one of those jobs where I can meet people, make friends and make enemies, go drinking with them after a bad day and loosen my tie with a huff when I get home.

I want one of those jobs, just without wearing a tie.

Proofreading. I could do that. Editing. I did quite well at that and got drunk on the power. Writing. I can do a bit of that too, as much as this post disproves it. Films. I’ve watched a few.

If there aren’t any jobs, or if I end up working in marketing, I’ll go back into Education and do something else I’m interested in or an extension of what I’ve already done. Maybe. But for now on the off-chance someone of some standing sees this…

Have you got a job? Will you give me a job? Will you give me a something to do with books or films job if you’ve got one?

I make a good milky cup of tea.

Alternatively, please accept my resumé in the form of a pop-punk song.


1 Comment

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One response to “On Getting A Job

  1. Cash Bandicoot

    Don’t worry young fellow! I’m going through the same thing with my parents, however, after confessing to them that a course in Media is something that I don’t want as I’m not passionate about it, they’ve called my university life a waste or a pisstake, and have now given up on me.

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